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[05 Apr 2007|09:13pm] |
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Wow...haven't been here in a long time...
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[04 Jan 2004|04:04pm] |
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING:The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: The crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tink u can tipe real gud.
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[27 Nov 2003|12:50pm] |
wow...jonathan brandis killed himself. now he's just going to be chalked up as another child star that couldn't handle it.
news
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[17 Aug 2003|01:09pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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this is funny cause that really was my favorite show
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| copy and paste |
[27 Jun 2003|08:47pm] |
We always hear "The Rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Finally!! So these are OUR rules! Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. You can handle it. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon. Let it be.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. ()
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. ROUND is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
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| lost inside his bedroom |
[25 May 2003|03:59pm] |
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music |
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so like a rose - garbage |
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you remember that show titus on fox??? that was my favorite show ever and the idiots canceled it. i just wanted to stick some qoutes from the show in here so i don't lose them.
Christopher Titus: In my family, goodness is just badness that hasn't had a drink yet.
( titus )
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| rise up, dance to a different beat |
[25 Apr 2003|02:11pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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shakedown! - the start |
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ok i've been thinking and thinking about his and i just can't wrap my mind around it.
i don't like either one of the artist so it's not like i'm playing favorites. why is it that when the dixie chicks make some negative comments about bush the sales of their album drop but r. kelly has like 21 counts of child porn against him and his album is selling like crazy.
i mean i understand that people are really patriotic right now but i would much rather some one bad mouth the president then have a bunch of kiddie porn and all that shit.
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[03 Mar 2003|08:57pm] |
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mood |
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 surprised |
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wow...shannyn is 8 months pregnant. she even looks cute pregnant.
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| randomness |
[11 Dec 2002|04:36pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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underneath it all - no doubt |
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i put the F U in FUN.
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[05 Dec 2002|05:04pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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i want to redo my journal but i need a little help. does any one know of any good pages that could help me??? does any one know the override code that makes the journal entry boxes go to the left side???
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| so what do you think??? |
[11 Nov 2002|03:13pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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ok i'm completely ripping this idea off of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) buttaflii. i took of that ip logging thing so you can post here anonymous and i'll never know. tell me what you really think about me, if you think i'm a stupid bitch then post all your rage against me...i'll never know that it is you. want to post a funny story or just some thing to confuse me...feel free. post any thing you want...
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| randomness |
[21 Oct 2002|07:44pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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they make a t shirt that says "EVEN JESUS HATES CREED."
i don't hate them but still found that funny.
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| things i don't understand |
[11 Aug 2002|05:32pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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-people who become vegetarian for health reasons, exercise and do yoga for health reasons...then smoke a pack a day.
-people who will spend 30 minutes looking for the remote but never once going over to the tv and manually changing the channels.
-people who purposely try to hit animals on the road...they piss me off.
-why some people will spend half an hour in the shower washing their hair but not using any soap on their funky smelling body.
i'm sure there are others but thats all i can think of for now...
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| i'll go where ever you will go... |
[07 Aug 2002|02:01pm] |
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mood |
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 content |
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music |
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where ever you will go (?) - the calling (radio) |
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i'm not punk or anything close to it so i don't know a whole lot about the subject. i do know that this avril girl doesn't have punk music. i don't hate here like a lot of people do...i hate her attitude and how she presents her self so thats why i was looking in the ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) anti_avril community to see what they thought about her. i don't like her at all...i do think she is gorgeous and has talent...but i'm not a fan. i'm not a member of the community and i don't hate her or wish cancer of the ass upon her or anything like that like some of them do but i found this one post that i do think is cool and i wanted to post it here. i wasn't smart enough to get the persons name when i saved it so i'm not sure who wrote it but who ever they are i think they are smart...
My definition
So I was thinking maybe that this was relevant and perhaps, needed right now. *shrug* Just my humble lil' speel.
Punk Rock was:
Poor White Males
The Clash, Sex Pistols, Ramones
Makes authority uncomfortable- They thought they were SATAN
Against the corrupt establishment, Institutions (government, church)
Against conventional family values (crazy middle class brainwashing)
Anti-consumerism- You dress in self-stylized, personally altered, second hand clothes and don't give a penny to those rich bastards because you're punk. And you got fired for drinking on the job and are now broke.
Politics- refusal to be complacent. Anger. (think God Save the Queen)
Finding a community within the music
and then it died. And then it was reincarnated.
Punk Rock is:
Everyone disenfranchised with the system
Makes authority kinda uncomfortable- "Boy, take out that earring."
Err... though I've yet to encounter a band that totally fits what I consider "punk rock", I hear that at this year's Warped Tour, there were a bunch of bands protesting the "war on terorrism" and handing out flyers against the bush administration. That there's punk.
Against the corrupt establishment (government, corporations, sellout music industry)
Against conventional family values
Anti-consumerism- You dress in self-stylized, personally altered, second hand clothes and don't give a penny to those rich bastards because you're /punk/.
Politics- refusal to be complacent. Pro-active movement and information dispersement. Stirring up the issues. (my big beef with pop-punk is that they've lost the politics)
Finding a community within the music (think Rancid's "Radio")
Avril Lavigne is:
Targeting middle class white girls
Deeply entrenched in the corporate system
Makes Tipper Gore smile (perfectly amenable to the government, the establishment, and middle class values...somehow.)
Pro-consumerism- Buy ties! Buy arm socks! Buy my CD and forget the live show! Buy!
NO Political Message at all.
Giving the punk community a bad name.
Bad music.
So y'know how there's the anti-christ? I say Avril's the anti-punk.
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| i thought these were funny...wanted to share... |
[26 Jul 2002|06:45pm] |
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mood |
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amused |
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What Porno's Will Have You Believe
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a women off a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy fucks.
11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his
half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt. Funny
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other.(and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist.
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trouser and find a cock there.
29. Men don't have to beg.
30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
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[23 Jul 2002|10:45pm] |
roses are red
and violets are blue...
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